Film romanesc comedie |  SENATORUL MELCILOR | THE SNAILS’ SENATOR | CINEPUB

Film romanesc comedie | SENATORUL MELCILOR | THE SNAILS’ SENATOR | CINEPUB


A film by THE SNAILS’ SENATOR One- two… One- two… Screenplay Music Executive Producer Make Up Costumes Scenography Editor One- two- three… Ten… Sound Camera Directed by Is he coming or not? Go fuck yourself! – What are you, Romanian or Tartar?
– I’m Romanian, Senator! You’re full of shit, Petrescu! How many
communists have you driven in your life? Leave the boy alone! I hope you have packed
the green flask for brandy. I gave it to her.
Have you packed it? – What boss did you serve, tell me?
– Well, Senator… Come on, tell me!
I’ll find out anyway. – I was just trying to make ends meet.
– Ends meet, eh? You’re full of shit! Look at that moron! He’ll bump into a car coming the opposite way
and end up upside down. He’ll end up upside down. – What’s his number? I can’t see.
– A Swiss number. Plenty of loonies!
You can’t take a fart anymore. Excuse me… Make ends meet, eh?
You’re sitting there like a prince. Would you like a cigarette? If you like to drive…
I find no pleasure in this. – My job is to be at the wheel.
– No kidding. Haven’t you and your people been
at the wheel long enough? – No more?
– No more, comrade. – There are 2 kilometers left.
– You’ve told them I’m your driver, eh? Get the gas cylinder from the old man
and give it to Petrescu to refill it! I told you on the phone
it was refilled already. Then give it to him refilled. – Please, Senator!
– No, I’ll drive. Don’t take apples anymore.
They’ll just rot. – Here, son, take some for Sica too.
– Don’t drive me mad, hide it! – Shut up!
– Mom, careful! – What are you doing, Viorel?
– Not much. Here, with my mom. Senator! Senator… Just a permit! – Please listen to me, Senator!
– Driver, please give it to the Senator! – I need my land back!
– Wait, we have just arrived. What am I going to do? What?
Didn’t you see that guy? My respects! No, I didn’t, Sir! – You, come here!
– Yes, Sir! – What does that gypsy want?
– Is he a gypsy? – Are you asking me? What does he want?
– The real estate law… – What does he want!
– Yes, sir… My respects, Senator, everything is OK! – Do you want to eat now or later?
– We won’t. It’s getting late. My respects, madam! Mocanu, wait for the lady
to offer you her hand! Why the hell do you jump on her like that? – Please forgive me, Sir!
– What the hell? Forgive me, sir!
That’s our communist education. Please, madam!
Everything is set… – Petrescu, what’s wrong?
– I don’t know, I’m checking it now. – Everything is all right there?
– Everything. Even the Prefect is waiting. My wife and my daughter will spend
two days at my parents- in- law. – Such nice people!
– They are kind of sick. I see… Madam, wouldn’t you have a snack?
We have fresh trout. – We’ll eat by ourselves! Where’s the toilet?
– Here! Follow me, please! – Be good there. Bye!
– Bye! When should we expect the ladies back? The shaving kit is in the green bag. – They’ll pick me up on Monday.
– Monday? So you’ll be alone
for two days? Madam, I’ll promise you he’ll rest well. You look tired.
I saw you on TV as well. You never have a leisure, Senator.
But this time, you’ll get rest, I promise. She is the building manager. – Nice to meet you!
– Likewise. – Are you going to take care of me?
– That’s right, Senator. – Who is knocking there?
– Some crazy guy. Senator,
we’ll take care of him right away. THE FISH VALLEY What are you doing? – Press there!
– I’m pressing! Now you are probably waiting
for a boring communist discourse. Well, there won’t be any,
neither communist, nor neo- communist. Prefect, Mayor, ladies and gentlemen,
I am satisfied. Maybe you are not satisfied,
maybe you think this is too little. Maybe, but when we’ll fill the valley
with wind power plants, and when we’ll really start to produce
clean, sustainable energy, we’ll finally be able to say
we did something for our country, like our predecessors. Come here! That’s why I’m satisfied. I’d say it is a good start in this transition towards the free market
that seems endless! God helps us, poor Him,
but we have to help ourselves too. That’s all I wanted to say. Congratulations! No interviews! Leave me alone!
Where are they from? They are from a foreign television.
She’s their friend. – That girl with the snail. – And you?
– I’m the guide. The guide… Nothing to declare! They manipulate you.
You say one thing, they broadcast another. – What are they filming?
– What they see around. – They have been to Timisoara as well.
– No interviews! Now, that we have become a member
of the European Council, we all have to do our best… …to find together… That’s my opinion… -We all are ecologists… She asks what the use of the dam is.
Doesn’t it work anymore? That’s a very good question! You see, we’ve got a difficult legacy. Not “difficult”, “hard”. Ceausescu built everything you see
with soldiers, students, inmates, quickly, quickly, over night… Now, the lake is clogged up with mud
up to the turbines and the water leaks the hell out
through some cracks… How do you say that in French? That’s right. So we have to do something by ourselves.
Nobody helps us. Give them a drink. Romanian whisky, plum brandy…
Of course, ok… – Senator, don’t leave us!
– I’m in the middle of an interview. Senator, can I ask you a favour? – Yes, you are…
– A teacher from the village. My name is Ciresica Tudorache. – Mocanu, come here!
– Yes, sir. Ciresica, go home, girl!
You filed the complaint, now wait! Give me a minute… Mr. Vartosu, I filed the complaint
six months ago. – They gave us land under water.
– What water? My brother got arable land.
Why did you give me land under water? He won’t give us anything.
He kicked us out of the house. Look, I’m carrying my brother with me.
Sometimes, we sleep at school. – Why does she have to sleep at school?
– That’s bullshit. – She sleeps with them at the motel.
– I slept at school last week! Where do you think I slept? The schmuck kicked us out.
Anton, leave that alone! Give me the same as him! They didn’t,
because I’m not their drinking pal! They gave me the land behind the church,
my father’s land. Now there is the lake over there.
What can I do with the water? Sica, if you had land there,
what could the commission do? – What arable land could they give you?
– What did they give you before the revolution? The same land. Under water. – And after the revolution?
– The same, but there used to be dry land. So what can I do?
Why do they all come to me? Write a complaint, file it to him! – They’ll discuss it…
– I did that six months ago… There are more requests than land. – Are they coming to have a drink?
– No, they’re going to shoot Miron’s boat. – What boat?
– A crazy guy was given his forest back, and now he is cutting trees
and building a boat. – A boat…
– Yes, it’s his forest. Democracy. – And you are going with them?
– Yes. Careful what they film there! That’s how
one can spoil the image of our country. Everybody shoots whatever they want. – Matache, give me the knife!
– Come and take it! Matache, the Senator is here.
We have a high level protocol! – Don’t pep me up!
– I’ll stab all the Parliament! – This is mine!
– Would you have said the same in Ceausescu’s time? – Give me a break!
– You, gypsy! – I’ll send you to jail!
– It’s my land! I warned you…
Don’t talk to me like that! – Who wrote this? Who?
– I’ll stab you! I’ll send you to jail, gypsy! My land, do you hear me? My land! – If any of you put foot on it… What’s got into you? Haven’t you left already? – What’s with the car?
– I don’t know. The nozzles may be… – How long do we have to wait?
– I think they are clogged up. What?
Did I damage your car now? Go and fix it.
You damn incompetents! A boat, yes… Nadine! You do as I say or I’ll fire you! What is it? Do you want me to leave you alone? I’d like to go home too,
if you’ll excuse me. But I’m waiting for the lady to leave.
Or is she leaving tomorrow? It’ll soon be over, it’s almost dark. Tomorrow he won’t knock,
it’s Sunday. What a splendid air you’ve got here! Air, of course,
The money is less… – Have you ever been to Switzerland?
– No, sir. – Why don’t you build a hotel here?
– With what money, Senator? All we need is tourism.
This country deserves it. – Ready, Petrescu?
– In a minute, Senator. We have no local resources, Mr. Vartosu. If I had this glen up to the road,
I’d build something great. What kind of mayor are you? – Do you realize what you’ve got here?
– The gypsies would destroy it. Be serious! Senator, I swear, they steal the doorknobs,
the parquet, the cement! As much as we want,
we can’t build anything here. How can they steal?
Aren’t you watching the place? We can’t. The main thing is
not to steal too much. Do you know what problems
I’ve got with the real estate law here? They stab you
and nobody is to protect. No kidding! Please believe me. We’ve got
big issues with the minorities. What minorities? The gypsies at the gate?
Come on! Senator, I’ve almost got cut twice.
And I’m the mayor, right? I command the police,
and I’ve almost got cut twice.
Are you serious? Take the land for instance. All people born here,
Romanians, Hungarians, are entitled to it. They’ve inherited it from their parents,
grandparents and all. The gypsies came here a few years ago.
They bought houses here. Now, with the new law,
do they ask for land as well? They don’t even cultivate it.
They steal and sell! If you say something,
they jump at you with the knife! You have to give them all, right? – Believe me, there are big issues here.
– Get involved yourself. Of course I do. I don’t have ten hands
and there is no help. – Get involve, man!
– Yes, sir. What would you like
to have for lunch tomorrow? We’ve got a nice little chicken soup,
nice little cabbage rolls, a nice little trout, hot dogs… Mocanu… … we need to build here. Leave that branch alone! Don’t rub your eyes
with these dirty hands! Come on! Stop crying! Stop there! No, it’s OK! What happened? – What is she saying?
– We’ve got lost in the dark. What? You didn’t get there?
We’ll go together tomorrow. – What’s the kid doing here?
– He’s my brother. I see. What’s his name? – What’s your name?
– Anton. Anton. Senator! It’s fixed! Let’s get inside, shall we? Maybe we’ll find something to drink. Where did he get so dirty? – Has Viorel stopped by?
– Earlier, yes. I gave him something for you,
but he didn’t take it. Very well. Take this! Let him stay at his place!
Stop giving him stuff! Aren’t you coming inside?
Have you met each other? She’s my mom. For how long have you been translating
for these French guys? -A, ghida…
– The guide… – Please, madam, let me help you.
– I want some cola. Please, follow me. – Bring some potatoes, something!
– From my mother? Bring some bag, a sack! Come sit closer to me! Put some food on the table, will you?
Anything. Tell them I am very pleased
with their visit here. We’ve got nice scenery here.
There is plenty to shoot. Can I do anything for you? He would like an ashtray. Bring an ashtray! Pour the ladies first… – What is she saying?
– If you could help me with the land. We’ll do what we can,
if the law allows us. – Where did you get this wine? Cheers!
– Cheers! – What’s now?
– If the church is on the bottom of the lake… Only she can tell you. It’s possible… Come, let me show you the house. We’re going upstairs. Tell them! – Why did you mention that stuff?
– What stuff? The land and stuff… Let me show you the house! Where did you get this wine?
Bring two more cases! Yes, sir. – That’s enough!
– Madam, this is rare stuff. – Put it here!
– Right, slowly! Take these too! This is a bathroom.
It was pretty expensive. – How much does it cost?
– Given the inflation, a lot. – You speak French pretty well.
– I went to college for two years. No kidding! Well, this house belonged to Ceausescu.
His son had wild parties here. The real owner was imprisoned
by communists and died in jail. Charles de Gaulle slept in this bed. No, wait! There is a phone downstairs. Yes? Excuse me…
Miss, please wait for me outside. Will you excuse me… – Drive safely, Petrescu!
– Don’t worry, Senator! Have a nice trip! Let’s eat something, shall we? – What is he saying?
– How much is it? The villa? Drive safely! The villa and the park?
It’s hard to say. Is he interested?
Is he rich or what? They came here last year as well.
They like this place. Tomorrow… Something to eat? Do you know what I crave for? Some snails. – Snails?
– Yes, snails. They’ll like snails.
They eat crap like that. What’s that word?
It’s on the tip of my tongue. But, Senator,
are there snails in this time of year? Understood. Hello, Cristina? We have arrived well. What time is the Senate
meeting on Monday? I’m ill. I’ve got a… Say… Your little problem is over? Good. See you on Monday. Bye! – Yes, please?
– Evening! I’d like some ice, please.
Tell the building manager to bring it. Thank you! – Where is she? I asked for her!
– She’s left. Fuck you, you old hag! For 45 years you’ve served
communist households! Now you are in the opposition!
I want that one to come, that one…
In the opposition! Don’t… don’t take pictures of me. – You’re looking for a scandal, aren’t you?
– Senator… – You’re trying to dishonor me, aren’t you!
– Senator… Faster! Sir, what about us, the pregnant ones? How many snails
do we have to gather, Mr. Secretary? Come on, faster! Hurry up! – There he is!
– Hurry up! Hurry! Have you lost your mind?
The children are looking at us. Sica, come take him. I’m beat. Have you found anything? Viorel, come here, son! – Hey, look…
– Yes? Pack your rags and leave my house!
I’m talking to you. – If not, you’ll find them in the street.
– My things? – I’ll throw them anyway.
– You are brother and sister! You are complaining against me?
It’s my fault you got land under water? You are stealing the last patch of grass
from my cow! – Who is stealing it?
– Your gypsies! – My gypsies?
– They are not mine! – Damn you, I hope to never see you again!
– Watch it! If they give me my land,
it’s all yours! Watch your step, will you! Animals! Will you eat outside? Enjoy your meal! – Where are the foreigners?
– I’ll pick them up on the road. With the Senator?
Are you out of your mind? – They are on the road.
– Go fetch them right away! Come on, pick something! Come on, move! Faster! Faster! Fuck him!
We are beat. Sit down! – Let me have some!
– Here. Miss, take a look at me! – Does the hood suit me?
– Sure! What are you doing here? This is my snail territory.
Menix is looking for you! Fuck you! What if people see us? Stop! Listen,
I want to tell you something! Put on your shoes!
You don’t wanna get stung. – Why don’t you listen?
– I want salami. – What?
– Salami. – I don’t have salami with me.
– Sica, listen! Wait, I wanna talk to you! – Leave me alone! Take your hands off me!
Give me a break. Where is Anton? Let me go! No! Fucking bastards! Menix, he’s got a knife! – He’s got a knife!
– I’ve got no knife! Who was it?
You wanted to steal, didn’t you? Fuck you, you are scratching me! – Look, he cut her lip!
– Gypsy son of a bitch! Interesting… Why is he cutting the forest,
is he out of his mind? Well, he owns this part. See how far we have driven? This is the way. Didn’t she tell you?
Or maybe she didn’t know either. This is the way, yes… – Hello!
– Hello. – Who’s that guy?
– It’s him. Miron! Are you Miron?
It’s Sunday, so you are resting, right? He’s not Miron.
What are you fooling around here? I’m resting
but I’m actually keeping guard, sir. – Guard what? They want to take a picture of you.
Come out! – Where is Miron?
– At church. He kept knocking last night,
I couldn’t sleep. He must finish the boat.
The time is short. – Why, is it going to be a flood?
– No, first a fire. The fire… And what are you going to do
with the boat in case of fire? Giving the forest to all the nuts!… – It’s his, Senator.
– Shut up, you moron! What does he want to do?
Built it and then set it on fire? How come, set it on fire? – Senator!
– What? – There’s been an incident.
– What happened? I have to leave! When they are done,
take them to the hut at the dam. Take them straight to the hut, OK?
Not to the snails thing, am I clear?! – Watch what they are shooting and inform me.
-How should I put it, Senator? It’s bad that it happened now,
while they are picking snails for you. – For me?
– Well, of course not. But they are foreigners
and they are shooting. – People are mean, you know.
– Fuck the damn thing! You’ve got no responsibilities?
How can they rape women in front of you? They do what they damn please.
They make the rules here. Look at their houses,
their lands. They take land from Romanians
and nobody works it. -You object to, they show you a knife.
– The hell they do! – Don’t you have police here?
– Yes, but we have children too. – We are poor people.
– You are shitty cowards. Yes, we are. What can we do? This is teacher
Ciresica Tudorache’s mother. – The one with the little brother?
– Her brother, I’m telling you… My respects, Senator! Come in! How could you gather
the entire village there? Are you crazy? It’s out of snails season.
What could I do? Damn your fucking season! Not her. Where are the gypsies? – Bring her!
– Yes, sir. What have you done, you pricks? Come here! – Make peace!
– No! – No?
– I’m not reconciling. Girl, make peace and cut it out,
or you’ll be in big trouble. Why not? When the gypsies got in Arvinte’s house
with an axe, the police did the same! – What?
– Agreement, my foot! I don’t want any agreement!
I have filed a complaint! The foreigners are shooting here.
Do you need such a crap? So what? – Do you want money?
– No. Do you want to go to trial?
He pays 2,000 lei and he’s free. – Is that what you want?
– Yes! – I want a trial!
– Girl, please… – Tear up the complaint!
– No! – This is the complaint, Senator…
– Fine, don’t tear it up, OK. Ask the lady to forgive you,
you fucking scamps! – Wait, they are minorities, sir.
– Leave me alone! They are minorities, sir,
and they’ll cut us, not you. – I don’t need crap like this, understood?
– Yes, sir. I haven’t summoned the people up to the hills
and I’m not the police. I’ve come here for two days
to launch the damn aeolian mill! What do you want from me? Girl, what I want
is better for everybody! Nobody came to my rescue! If it hadn’t been for my brother,
it would have been a disaster! – Who, your little brother?
– No, my elder one, Viorel. I was there, picking snails.
Look what they did to me! And here! Look! And my back is all blue. – See what you have done?
– Stop it! What’s wrong with you?
What is he doing? I’m gonna kill you! – Are you out of your mind? – Get your hands off me!
– He’ll come for us, not for you. Are you gonna beat us here,
at the police? Let’s go to the dam and see
what can we do about that land, while I still feel like doing it. Tear it up! They’ll make peace.
Come on! Look, do the Swiss know
about the snail thing? How should I know? – I don’t want them to know.
– As you wish. Let’s go to the dam
and see what we find there. I’ll have to go change.
My clothes are dirty. We’ll take the car. Let’s go! Are you crazy,
beating us here, at the police? Fuck you! – What’s that?
– The wine you liked. Ok Take her home. Come on! Mom, I want salami! – Take your hands off me!
– Viorel, stop it! Leave me alone! Mom! Mom, I want salami! – Mom, forget about it!
– Holly cow, you are killing me! – Viorel, calm down!
– Cut the crap! – Give me a breake! – Salami! So, they let you go… – Are you glad, Hungarian?
– Yes, Menix. – Then let’s drink on the house!
– The black bottle… Poor some more, don’t be cheap!
I’ll buy your place off! I’m pouring as much as you want.
I’ll pour it all. Would you like a Marlboro cigarette? Poor Ceausescu, he built a thing or two. – They beat him at the police!
– Where? – They broke his arm!
– Whose arm? Menix’s arm!
– Shut the fuck up, you moron! They broke the arm
he put between the teacher’s legs. Fuck you!
They are free, at the pot- house. Who is the snitch?
I’ll cut your fucking throat! Fuck you! – Where are you going, you murderer?
– What’s wrong? Did he knock her up? – Go to hell!
– Fuck off, you bitch! – Cool the wine to have it ready.
– Right away, sir! – Do you have any sweets for the kid?
– Of course, Senator. The fridge is packed with food.
You can eat in the living room. You have a cook
if you prefer hot dishes. Hello! Everybody, let’s swim!
We’ll eat after. – Have you brought my shaving kit? I’ll sleep here. I forgot, but tomorrow the driver is coming
with your wife. He’ll bring it to you. – Will you stay or not?
– Allow me to leave, sir. – OK. Have you got any fishing rods?
– Here they are! Leave everything we need! Where are you going? How is it? Oh, have we got a mirror too? – What are you doing there?
– Salami! Don’t touch it! What if anyone sees us? – I’m eating.
– You are, yes. Have you lost your mind? – Are there any other tourists around?
– Definitely not, Senator. We take our job very seriously… Leave it alone! – What’s your problem with the boy?
– It’s my sister, you asshole! – Your kids are fonds to read?
– I’ll teach them myself! – Yeah, to warm up the house by flaming the floors.
– You snitch! – I’ll kill you, watch out! You have a hell of a record.
You bribed the police too, damn you! – You and the police go fuck yourselves!
– You sons of bitches! – I don’t give a damn about the police!
– Fucking bastards! You brought me here
to carry your fuking snails! What should my kids eat, snails? Shut up! Stay there and behave yourself! Senator, I brought you a few snails! I heard you like them. – Who’s this guy?
– Snails, sir! I see… Shall I take them to the hut? Leave them by the red bag,
under an umbrella. – Who sent you?
– I came here myself. OK, leave them there.
How much do they cost? Please, Senator, don’t mention it.
I have a favour to ask. – If you are kind enough to read it…
– Leave it there too, under the towels. Here? The address is written on it.
My respects, sir! Enjoy the snails! Who are you? Fuck you and your snails! I like how resilient you are. Nice bathing suit! What are you doing,
crossing yourself? – Are you crossing yourself?
– Yes. – Under water?
– Yes, I like it under the water. Yeah? Why, do you feel
the church is underneath? I like praying under water.
I do that at the seaside too. – In the Atlantic Ocean too?
– Yes, I do that too. – Really?
– Yes. – And can you do it in this hustle?
– Yes, if I’m not interrupted. Well, heartbroken as you are,
you found time to dress up… Was I supposed to come as I was? For a girl so depressed, black fits better. What about those ships
you’ve sold for big money? – What, where?
– In your Parliament. – What ship have I sold?
– I saw it on TV. – Me?
– I saw it, I know. You watch TV,
but have no idea what you see! Holy Mother of Jesus! What? Yes, I’ll give her some. I’ll give you all,
as I always get some. You saw nothing, you prick! Wasn’t the kid watching
when the gypsy tried to rape you? – No, why?
– You struggled, right? – Didn’t he see it?
– No. Damn bastards dared to rape you
with their kids around! They weren’t their kids.
Gypsies don’t take their kids to school. Only on some special occasion,
such as a snail picking. That’s why they steal and rape. ‘Cause you don’t bring them to school,
don’t make them part of the society… – OK, I’ll promise we’ll do that.
– The minority matters too, right? – Do you think there is a church here?
– Don’t you want to talk about the land? – Let’s not forget why we came…
– What is there to talk about? – Well, what did you bring me here for?
– We’ve talked already! – Write a request, explain the situation…
– I wrote a request. – Did you type it?
– Where from a typewriter now! You type it and send it. You’ve waited
so long, you can wait three more days. – It’s like Switzerland, man!
– He wants to build a house here. – He found a spot last year.
– Did he tell you that? What is it? The current… problems… According to… … the real estate law. – Go check the earthworms!
– Right away, sir. – I need a plug. Can I go inside?
– I’ll take you. – It’s going to be typed.
– OK. – Come, let’s swim!
– No. Don’t you like water anymore? – Are they the right size, Senator?
– Put them on the hook. Don’t make me sick. – Somebody’s taking care of that wine?
– I am. Who’s getting in the water with me? Skiing? If I had that patch of forest…
millions, madam, millions! But it’s a lot of money, dollars. The air is so good, here.
I slept like a log! – How do you say…
– Of course you did, in de Gaulle’s bed. Everyone in the bed he deserves.
You are a bit cheeky, don’t you think? – Who, me?
– I don’t like the way you talk sometimes. I’m in with you because we are democratic,
but, listen, babe… Anton, what did I say?
What are you doing? But I like your brother… – Senator?
– What? Please taste,
there’s something wrong with it. The gypsies pissed in. – See if they pissed in all the bottles!
– What? You, motherfuckers… – The gypsies?
– No. Come, let me wash you! – Oopsy- daisy!
– Don’t get him into this water! Leave him alone! It’s nice and warm,
warmer than outside! Does Michel speak other languages than French? – I don’t know, why?
– Just asking. Since you were curious
about de Gaulle’s bed… let me tell you how the train used to pass
by Ceausescu’s window every morning, at Portile de Fier dam construction. Not to wake him up, like this… Professionals… I’m pissing. Aren’t you coming?
The water is getting warmer! My God, it’s getting warmer,
it’s boiling! It’s hot! They forgot to turn off
the tap for hot water. I see water and fire! The guy with the boat
in the forest was right. Big fire!
The water is boiling! It’s boiling… I see blood! Blood and tar! And I see a big rain
covering everything! It’s useless to run,
you have nowhere to hide! Look, he’s the Antichrist! Fuck him, he looks familiar! Take your children and your animals
and everything you have! Anton, come here! Get out! Take a pair of each
and get them on the submarine! The earth is cracking
and the heavens are opening! The Judgment begins
and here come the gypsies! God, have mercy on our souls! I’m going to light a candle in the church. If I don’t be back by Monday,
I’ll be at Parliament on Tuesday. REQUEST NO VACANCY – Where is Sica?
– There! Hey, you two! Come here!
Come quickly! Go bring a garbage bag!
Send a woman to clean the shards. I cut my feet, fuck! And put up an umbrella or some branches!
Make some shadow. The earthworms don’t fit on the hooks! Didn’t I tell you to pick
worms and grasshoppers too? That’s what you’re paid for! Get him up! God have mercy! – I didn’t cut him, I swear on my life!
– Grab him! What have you done? – Watch out, he wants to run!
– Leave me alone! Attention, your gun! Now I have it!
Why don’t you protect me? – Are you police or what?
– Give me the gun, man! – I’ll kill you all!
– Give me the gun! What do you have against us? Put the gun down! Get out of my way! – Leana, come out!
– What is it? Viorel, my dear boy! Viorel! God, don’t take him away from me! Put that table over here! Sica, girl, come and see! My son! God, don’t take him!
Don’t take him! We’ve got him! – Catch him! Fuck them! – I’ll kill you all!
– Put that fork down! – What’s wrong? We have done nothing.
– Grab them! What have they done to you, my son? – Leave him alone!
– Get out of here! You, motherfuckers! Mom won’t scold you anymore! Don’t leave me, son! Where is Sica? He says he wants to buy that piece
of mountain. Come on, make peace,
for God’s sake! – Who owns this place?
– The state. Are they journalists
or are they here to buy something? Well, I mean in general…
The IFM, the democracy… Everybody needs to be fair
and the state must get its part too. Right? There are private estates
in the area as well. Take for instance
the guy with the boat. Maybe there are private estates here too,
I’m not sure. Anton, don’t touch it! – Could he talk to the owner?
– Theoretically, anything is possible. We live in the country of all possibilities. Wait, don’t let them think that…
It’s not so easy with the land. If he wants to invest, you know,
we could find him an associate. I could take care of it myself.
Has he got money, capital? He’s got shit. They all come for opportunities.
Where did you learn French? – You are pretty good.
– I studied Biology for two years. Anatomy, eh? French anatomy… And? Did it close? – The miners came in rioting in ’91.
– The miners? Terrible! – And you didn’t feel like it anymore?
– They raped me in a van to the jail. Don’t say… – The miners, you know…
– The policemen did it. That’s your destiny. Maybe that’s how
your sexual life should be. Maybe… I have no idea, never raped anyone.
I haven’t had the opportunity. Just kidding!
What’s the problem, Anton? – Senator, what about this paper?
– Give it to me. What if it gets lost? – It’s not even registered.
– Then register it! I thought you’d sign it
and give it to the mayor! – Sign what?
– I tore up that complaint for you! I didn’t want to make peace with them. – I trusted you!
– OK, I’ll sign it. If not, I’ll take it back.
In Bucharest, I know where to go. – Where?
– To the Finance Department. The Finance Department?
Are you threatening me? – No, I don’t.
– Don’t you? If you know such important people,
how come you get raped by the police? I don’t know. I trusted you. Let’s eat first. – Who do you know up there?
– Some big shot. – How big?
– Big enough. Nobody pisses in his bottles. They piss, OK, but not in all of them.
Six bottles were fine. – And they don’t pretend picking snails.
– Yes they do, but they climb as well. He wants to save himself! Kill them! Wash them out! – I want a trial!
– What trial? You are finished, man! Catch them!
Don’t let him escape! Stop hitting them! Stop it! – Who killed them?
– I don’t know. Who did it? Who killed them? What’s up, my friend? You son of a bitch!
Who do you think I am? Leave me alone! So what? I don’t wanna have
anything to do with it! Leave me alone!
Do I have to solve your problems? It’s the brother of that girl
who interprets for the Swiss. – Sica?
– Yes. – And why didn’t you tell her?
– How could we tell her? – I tried, but I couldn’t.
– You should have told her. – He got stabbed while picking snails.
– What? What snails? What do you need me for? – We don’t know what to do.
– So? What can I do? – How many are dead?
– Three so far. What do you mean “so far”? They have set fire to all the gypsy houses
to make them come out. Why didn’t you block them? We need to have capacities to stop it.
It’s impossible. I don’t wanna know, it’s not my concern.
You are the authority, not me. – How many have you arrested?
– Arrested? They’d polish us off. Somebody set fire first.
Who is he, who are the leaders? Tamas is one of them. – A Hungarian?
– Yes. We’ll end up with the Council of Europe
on our backs. You need to find out
if the Hungarians started! – Understood?
– Understood. – Aren’t you Hungarian?
– No, sir. So what do you want from me now?
I’ve come for the opening! I’ve come for that stupid whirligig! I’m leaving tomorrow.
Solve it and send me a report. – Please take a look, Senator.
– Stop the car! Take care of it immediately!
You are the officials, you solve it! Shall we notify the prefect? – I don’t know, the prefect, the firemen…
– We’ve already called the firemen. I don’t know!
The army, the guard, as you consider! I want them to make peace.
I give you one hour to fix things. – Make peace, got it?
– Yes, sir. – Do you know who is ruling Romania?
– The President. No! – The people?
– We are, man, we are! Don’t you have any responsibilities at all?
At all ?! Take me away from here! If the Swiss find out about this,
you are in big trouble. I understand, sir. – Aren’t you coming?
– No! You are officials and I trust you. I want consensus…
Turn the car around! Make order and give me a report! Yes, sir… Have you got a flat tire? What village? Come on!
Tell them everything is OK. – Senator, could you sign the paper?
– Let’s have something to eat. What are you waiting for? Go away! Later… – Where are they hurrying?
– Home. There is a fire. A fire my ass!
Show me how prepared you are! Good job! Beautiful! Put them there. Why won’t you at least taste? Enjoy your meal! Anton, look! – What are those?
– It’s a mushroom salad. – Bring some more wine!
– We have trout, deer with sauce… …chicken, nicely cooked kidneys… Or maybe the guests would prefer steak… He says snails require
special cutlery. Exactly, we don’t have the right tools,
we can’t eat them! What a great air! Senator, have you tasted it
with horseradish? – With horseradish?
– Yes. It’s tastier… How much is an acre
around here? Senator, will you sign this paper or not? I don’t know,
we don’t really sell land. – In dollars?
– In Frech Francs. In French Francs, I don’t know. There is a fire in the village! Where?
Have some fish, some mushrooms! Have some chicken, whatever! Have you tasted the wine? – Are you going to sign this paper or not?
– Sure, but don’t let them go. Where are they going? What do you need the land for?
To build something? A little hut is not serious enough.
We need a big investment here. It’s crappy! You come and look only for free!
You think we are stupid. Sit down, please.
Sica, pour some wine! Sit down!
You haven’t even tasted the mushrooms. Come on, sit down!
Mushrooms, champignon! We are talking about land.
He wants to buy or what? Senator, after you sign it,
please give it yourself, because I’m sure he’ll want
to see an official stamp on it. – Who?
– The mayor. Don’t you understand
I can’t get in there? It’s surrounded by the army.
There is no way in. The village? Why?
It’s forbidden. Just sit down! – What did she say?
– “What should we do?” I don’t know! Eat! So… – What are these?
– Pasta with snails. All this crap… Please eat! Mushrooms… Don’t they speak German?… …the golden stag… Senator Vartosu speaking… What’s going on there? I’m with a group of foreign journalists. They want to…
What? What are you talking about? – Ask what’s going on!
– Nothing, I scared them. What, at the dam?
When is somebody coming? Then it’s better to wait here…
OK, I’ll tell them. Have they taken pictures here
and at the dam? Translate! It’s not good. Not at all.
It’s a strategic point. They’ve been shot by somebody else. – Who did that?
– I don’t know. They have to come and see the tapes.
The tapes…
Who wants that? Sit down, dear! You too! Sit down! She’s a journalist too,
isn’t she? No, she’s their friend. – Who’s friend?
– Theirs.Great Iancu, almighty Iancu,
Be by our side!Stop! You are killing me. Get out! Out! What have you done here? Shut up! Feed him some salami! We are a French speaking country,
you son of a bitch! Cheers! Don’t you wanna drink with me? You heard it was cheap here
so you want a villa, don’t you? Halfpennyworth! And you try to buy me off
with a carton of cigarettes. You damn punk! The butter wasn’t yellow enough here,
so you skipped it, didn’t you? And now, you’ve come back
to thrive, with two dollars in your pocket. – You dissident!
– Pardon me? Pardon me, you „dissident”! You’ll find here a lot of people
kissing any foreign ass! – Take their money!
– Look, boss… I know some folks around here
who ate some yellow crap too. – What?
– Butter, of course. What did you say? – Good bye!
– Fuck you, you punk! Ladies and gentleman,
I’m really sorry. Go away! Where is Anton? Anton, what’s wrong with you? Get up! Senator, what’s wrong? – Wait a second!
– Don’t let them go there! Tell them to come upstairs! He’s having a heart attack. Bring that paper and I’ll sign it. Sit down. Have they left? Just wait and see
how they’ll picture Romania! – They’ll send a doctor.
– Bullshit! – Isn’t he sleepy?
– What should I do now? – Do you mean it has no value?
– Maybe it does. Of course it does, fuck them! – Isn’t he asleep?
– Come on, go to sleep! – Go to sleep!
– Anton! Anton, here… Salami! Salami… Come on, lie down. Lie down and have some salami! – What’s going on in the village?
– Nothing. – I want to make a phone call.
– Go ahead. Why is the phone dead?
What’s happening in the village? – Nothing.
– How could you speak on the phone? How could I? – What’s going on?
– What’s going on? Put it there and get lost. – Do you want to eat some more?
– No. Wait! Take the food away. Who’s the moron
who cooked the snails? Send him to me in the morning! Throw everything away! Don’t take the food home!
I know you! You clean up and throw everything away.
I’ll check. I’ll make a commision. – Do it!
– Yes, sir. – What happened?
– What? – They started a fight with the gypsies.
– Who? The Romanians and the Hungarians. Did they cut anyone?
Did they cut Menix? No, your Menix couldn’t be safer.
He’s in poky. – Why? I withdraw my complaint.
– I think they’ve let him go. – Do you think I’m stupid?
– Me? – They told me at the police.
– What? Is the kid asleep?
I don’t want him to hear. Isn’t he a bit dark? Sica, let it be our secret.
He isn’t your brother. He’s yours and Menix’. Enough! I don’t give a damn,
but I don’t like you playing snowy. – Did he rape you?
– So what? – Did he rape you?
– Yes. Then he raped you some more,
20- 30 more times. If that’s your destiny,
why lying about miners and about knowing some big shot
in the Finance Department? Give me that glass! You are fucking around
and turning the world upside down. – Me?
– Well, not me! Isn’t it true he used to grab you, Michel too? – Did you see him?
– Forget about it. I’m sick.
I’d tell you a thing or two, but… – You may leave!
– I couldn’t care less. You couldn’t care less?
Isn’t Manix the father of your “brother”? It’s not true! Dressing up
that Swiss swimming suit and screwing around! – Why? For French Francs?
– Is it a Senator’s duty? You should me more concerned
about the lies you tell on TV.
– Watch your mouth! Snails!… Deer and trout are garbage, isn’t it? Some people would love
a slice of salami! All the ships are gone!
Where is the fleet? Where is it?
All the dickies think they are Ceausescu. You pussies! You can’t solve anything. Until the day when everyone will get mad! – What, are you laughing?
– No, I’m not. I’m sick. So sick!
I told you I don’t like the way you talk. Watch your mouth! I can’t throw up. Oh, my God!
Fucking snails! – I’m sick inside.
– That’s because you blasphemed! – You blasphemed at the lake.
– What did I say? Where? I didn’t blaspheme! Yes, you did!
Do you think it’s of little account? Girl, if being raped is your destiny, put your kid in some bed and wait for me in the bedroom. I’m puking a couple of times
and I’m coming. – I expect to find you in bed.
– Me? – Do you want Francs? Fine!
– God gracious! – I’ll go hitchhike. You’ve lost your mind!
– Listen… I’ll kick you out! The snails didn’t make you sick.
The mushrooms did. One poisonous mushroom
is enough… Where are you, Sica? Senator, God forbid
something bad happens! Tell God you are mean and sinful!
Pray, Senator! – Pray!
– Are you threatening me? With Him? You bitch!
Are you threatening me with Him? You can’t
threaten me with Him! You are not allowed! – I’m sick. He’ll never come!
– Who? The guy who raped you.
He won’t bring any doctor. – Who raped me?
– Michel, who poisoned me. Nobody raped me, you are drunk. – Fuck off!
– Don’t swear! Pray! Let me hear how you pray…
“Our Father Who art in Heaven”… Michel raped you too.
Your brother saw it. Me too. – Nobody raped me. I love him.
– You love him? He raped you, you stupid cow
and you didn’t even notice. You’ll have his international baby. That’s why he came, to buy us off
with a couple of bucks and to fuck us over. You damn bitch!
You must find out about your brother. Wait! Don’t leave me! Try to throw out!
I’ll make you some tea. I’m scared. I can’t throw up. Don’t be ashamed.
That’s a heavy sin. God, forgive me! Forgive me… Forgive me
and have mercy on my soul! God, You are kind. You are almighty and kind. Look at me and my sins! Don’t take my life!
You are almighty and kind! I’m sinful and mean. A damn sinful liar! God, I have blasphemed
and taken Your name in vain. Don’t take my life, God!
I have a child. You are almighty and forgiving! Almighty and forgiving! Forgive me! I’ll be kind. You are almighty and forgiving!
Make a miracle! God, if you let me live,
I won’t lie ever again! Senator! Somebody will come
and see you like that! God, I’m so sinful!
And my life is a sin! And a lie! I’ve sinned, God! God! God, don’t leave me! Protect me and have mercy on my soul!
Don’t take my life! God, I will be kind.
I want to pray . – I want to pray…
– Enough… I want to pray! – Won’t you have that tea?
– I want to pray. – I want to confess!
– What are you doing? I want to confess!
I want to tell everything! After the revolution… the coup d’etat… They will go complain
to the Council of Europe. – About what?
– Being discriminated. Discriminated how?
Who took out the knife? – Mr. Mocanu…
– Did they shoot anything there? – Who?
– The French. – What French?
– You moron, I’ll fire you. Forgive me, I haven’t slept. Understood, sir. They used to fight like idiots.
Gypsies, Hungarians… Until they rebuild the houses,
we’ll have some peace. What happened here is state secret.
Understood? If the Parliament finds out,
you are finished. – Let them make peace.
– Yes, sir. Senator, the whole village has burnt.
It’s an open secret. Then give me the names of the leaders!
Do you know them? What are their names?
This is no accident. We’ve got an ethnic conflict here! – And they are watching us!
– Senator, if I’m allowed… I don’t think it’s a good idea
to mention any ethnic conflict. I think it was just a bunch
of right- wing extremists, right? Fortunately not many,
trying to sabotage our country reputation, now that we are trying to adhere
to international mechanisms. They are part of a minority… with rights guaranteed by the Constitution. Let’s apply the Constitution
and the problem is solved. We’ll arrest a few Romanians,
but what can we do? Why Romanians? That’s good, we are the majority,
and nobody will be offended. We’ll observe the Constitution,
it’s not such a big deal. – Senator…
– I don’t wanna know. You are officials! You get paid
to solve issues like this. Think, decide and send me a report! I want them to make peace. – Have you travelled safely?
– Yes. My mother sends you some cheese. – I’ve been called to the Parliament.
– Five minutes, dear. My respects, Senator. I’ll take my coat.
Wait for me in the car! We are not taking anything. Come on, open up! Open up! My wife is here! Wake up the kid
and leave through the balcony! Let’s not mention
what happened last night, OK? And I’ll take care of you.
Shut the door! The door! Go by the lake, where we swam.
Take the request as well! Anton, wake up!
We are going home! Come on! Why does he like salami that much? Sica, don’t be upset.
I meant to tell you something… Yesterday, a guy was stabbed and died.
Firm measures were taken… Who died? I don’t remember, the gypsy, I think. Who? Menix. Go to hell, you and your snails! Stop the car, Senator! Who are these people? Help us, Senator, please! Turn right! Senator! Senator! Senator! Senator! What do they want? Senator, stop! Senator… Sica, my girl! Sica! They killed him, Sica! Everything has burnt down. They killed him! Thy Kingdom Come! Thy Kingdom Come… Drive slowly! Translation by Laura Popescu

22 comments

  1. For English subtitles , try clicking on the cc (closed captioning) button currently on the lower right, under the videos.

  2. Dincolo de toata tarasenia se ascunde o realitate cruda care azi e mult mai departe decat era atunci cand s-a facut filmul.Daca atunci erau rahati de-ai nostri azi rahatul e mai elevat de natura straina…culegem melci pentru altii…stiti voi cine…

  3. :=))) TARE !!! Dorel Visan ♥ … treningul Mercedes Benz …: =))))

    " sa iei butelia de la al batranu " s-o dea Petrescu la umplut .

    It all started ….. :=)))

  4. Aici se vede exact cum a ajuns nespalatul Dragnea, poponarul Tariceanu si Viorica cea docila, Pavianul cu mantie sa conduca tara noastra.Ma rog, ce a mai ramas din ea.

  5. Domnilor de la CINEPUB, vad ca ati luat mai multe filme romanesti si le-ati urcat pe platforma CINEPUB fara ca macar sa le schimbati formatul in unul HD sau FHD. Daca tot castigati niste banuti din vizionarea filmelor pe platforma Dvs, va sugerez ca un un iubitor al filmelor romanesti sa schimbati formatele in FHD avand in vedere ca tot mai multa lume detine televizoare Smart cu rezolutie minim FHD si in aceste conditii filmul de pe CINEPUB apare pe TV intr-un patrat pe mijlocul ecranului la rezolutii de tip 360p sau 480p. In plus de asta v-as ruga sa urcati pe platforma si alte filme bune romanesti (evident cu acordul producatorilor): cum ar fi Atunci i-am condamnat pe toti la moarte, Padureanca, Fructe de padure, Nea Marin miliardar, Balanta, etc, toate prelucrate pt a avea calitate cel putin HD pt ca ne dorim si calitate. Multumesc.

  6. Pare ca este o filmare neprelucrata, o saptamana din viata unui domn senator. Aici e maiestria realizatorilor. Multumiri domnului Visan pt munca depusa pana azi pt Patrie…

  7. Sper din suflet ca s-a dat in taraturile alea 2 elvetiene. Bune rau de pl. Visan, clasic, porc comunist, meltenesc. Pup

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