Hot Pockets Heiress In Hot Water

Hot Pockets Heiress In Hot Water


LET’S GET RIGHT INTO IT. AS YOU KNOW, TONIGHT WAS THE
TENTH DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE. AND IT WAS HOSTED RIGHT HERE
ON THIS NETWORK, CBS. WHICH EXPLAINS WHY BERNIE
SANDERS ANSWERED EVERY QUESTION WITH, “BAZINGA.” ( LAUGHTER )
THIS NETWORK HOSTED THE LATEST DEBATE. THAT MEANS CBS IS NOW HOME TO
BOTH “THE AMAZING RACE” AND “THE REALLY LONG, ANNOYING RACE.” ( LAUGHTER )
CBS IS, OF COURSE, ALSO HOME TO THE LONG-RUNNING SOAP OPERA
“THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL.” AND IN AN EFFORT TO DRAW IN
THOSE VIEWERS, HERE’S HOW THEY PROMOTED TONIGHT’S DEBATE. “THE OLD AND THE BUTTIGIEG.” ( LAUGHTER )
LAST WEEK’S DEBATE HAD SIX PEOPLE ONSTAGE, BUT THERE WERE
SEVEN TONIGHT, BECAUSE LONG-SHOT BILLIONAIRE, TOM STEYER, WAS A
LAST-MINUTE QUALIFIER. SO THERE YOU HAVE IT. SIX PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES AND
TOM STEYER. ( LAUGHTER )
TOM STEYER IS THE GUY AT THE PARTY WHO BUSTS THROUGH THE
DOOR AND IS LIKE, “I’M BACK, BITCHES!”
( LAUGHTER ) AND EVERYONE’S LIKE
“OH, I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU’D LEFT.” ( LAUGHTER )
MOVING ON, MORE FALLOUT FROM THE BIG USC COLLEGE
ADMISSIONS SCANDAL. AN HEIRESS FROM THE FAMILY THAT
INVENTED THE MICROWAVABLE SNACK HOT POCKETS, WAS SENTENCED TODAY
FOR BRIBING HER DAUGHTERS’ WAY INTO COLLEGE. HER FAMILY CREATED HOT POCKETS
AND NOW SHE MIGHT GO TO PRISON. SO AT LEAST THE FOOD WILL BE AN
UPGRADE. ( LAUGHTER )
SHE’S THE HEIRESS TO THE HOT POCKETS FORTUNE. WHICH IS A STRANGE PHRASE. AS A GENERAL RULE, THE WORD
“HEIRESS” SHOULD NEVER BE USED IN CONNECTION WITH SOMETHING
THAT COMES IN A FLAVOR CALLED “BARBECUE RECIPE BEEF.” ( LAUGHTER )
TODAY, THE WOMAN WAS SENTENCED TO FIVE MONTHS IN JAIL, WHICH
WAS DISAPPOINTING, BECAUSE SHE ORIGINALLY ENTERED A PLEA OF–
♪ NOT GUILTY ♪ ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND FINALLY, THERE’S A NEW
HEALTH STUDY WE WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT. ACCORDING TO RESEARCHERS AT
HARVARD UNIVERSITY, MEN WHO EAT JUNK FOOD ARE MORE LIKELY TO
HAVE LOW SPERM COUNT.>>WHOO! ( LAUGHTER )
>>James: THAT’S — ( LAUGHTER )
THAT’S THE STRANGEST RESPONSE. ( LAUGHTER )
WHO DID THAT? WHO WAS IT? ( LAUGHTER )
I CAN’T WORK OUT — ARE YOU SAYING —
>>I DON’T WANT ANY KIDS!>>James: YOU DON’T WANT ANY
KIDS! ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>James: THAT IS RIDICULOUS,
MAN. ( LAUGHTER )
>>WHOO!>>James: MEN WHO EAT JUNK
FOOD ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE LOW SPERM COUNTS. HAVEN’T THE PEOPLE AT
HOT POCKETS DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE ALREADY? ( LAUGHTER )
IN LIGHT OF THIS NEW REPORT, SOME COMPANIES HAVE EVEN BEEN
FORCED TO RENAME PRODUCTS THAT COULD LOWER SPERM COUNT. I SAW THIS CANDY BAR ON THE
SHELF TODAY. “NO BABY RUTH.” ( LAUGHTER )
MEN WHO EAT FAST FOOD EXPERIENCE A DROP IN FERTILITY. AND YET, SOMEHOW, THIS GUY HAS
FIVE CHILDREN. ( LAUGHTER )
REGGIE, ARE YOU READY?

94 comments

  1. Who’s Been A HUGE Fan Before
    February ??🔥👇

    *pewdiepie Commented on my latest video I’m literally crying and shaking *😝😭

  2. I have a hot pocket who requested me on two of my videos if I can use the pedal footwork on the piano while playing… So annoying hot pocket 💩

  3. IM VERY MUCH FOR THIS KIND OF FUNNY,MONEY BUSINESS.IT NEEDS TO BE PLAY TO DIEING HOSP.ROOMS.IT TAKES THERE MIND OFF DIEING.

  4. BRING THE SOUL THE MOVIE Full version Movie

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    quality HD ? bring-the-soul-the-movie-full-movie.blogspot.com?bg

    Play? warehouse-movie-best-quality.blogspot.com

    Leurs états de santé

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  5. Loool, little known fact, Steyer is my stepmom's old boss. She was there when the company was in its first couple of years (actually, I'd need to fact check that w her but she was definitely there when the company only occupied a single floor, like in a company building). Interesting that now he's a presidential candidate…

  6. Friends, hi I'm a musician from Russia.And I will be very happy if you rate the video for the song on my YouTube channel ,, you Know, Natasha,,) all the best;))

  7. Que la paix soit sur vous, je suis Oussama du Maroc. Ma chaîne est spécialisée dans les jeux de divertissement. J'ai 18 ans, je suis marocain. J'achète ma médecine de mère avec elle et achète mes affaires et fournitures scolaires. Je serai la personne la plus heureuse du monde.

  8. Video about Democrat debate: 34k views in six hours
    Justin Bieber drinking Jalapeño milkshake: YouTube becomes asexually pregnant

  9. I don't like hot pockets Really, but that lady, oh no she's going to be giving hot pockets for protection in jail ,not an bad trade for protection., I wonder if they will request more cheese in those pockets???? I'm wanting pizza now ! Darn it.

  10. " And somehow this guy has 5 children. "

    Looking like an orange beached whale, something tells me that a paternity test on his YOUNGER children would surprise Chump.

  11. Congrats James, you made my recommended (Note I subscribe to the big late night names). I noticed your "writers" stole the heiress joke.

  12. Another entitled rich person who probably never accomplished anything on her own cheating to get her entitled child into college who couldn't accomplish that on her own.

  13. Lol my buddy in college was dating one of the hot pocket girls! They were loaded and he'd fly from mn to Texas all the time to hangout with her. This was like 2006.

  14. Wait a minute…

    So, we've got several billion people too many on this planet, the country is on the brink of a civil war, while the entire planet is in the brink of ww3. Most jobs don't pay enough to have a decent single life, let alone feed a family, and the Earth is slowly becoming uninhabitable for life, yet you think it's "rediculouse" to NOT want to bring more people into the world..?

    Are you fucking crazy or just stupid as fuck..? Seriously.

    You sir, are a fucking HUGE part of the problem.

    The funny part is, I used to think you quite intelligent.

    Unfuckingbeleivable, SMH…

    Try to stick your head outside of your little bubble now and then and catch a fucking clue.

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