Pat Crashes Chicago City Council Meeting

Pat Crashes Chicago City Council Meeting


Man Of The People, you got anything you want me to ask the aldermen? We’re goin’ to the City Council. Okay.
Okay, your best interests at heart. You’ve got problems. The Man Of The People is gonna get answers. If you could ask your alderman one question, what would it be? Change. That’s not a question. What are you gonna do for me? For me. Me– me, personally. What can you do for me? And, who is your alderman? I don’t know. I forgot. My alderman is Nick Sapazzzzo. Sapazzo? I don’t know how to say his last name. Name three people running for mayor. Uhhhhhh.. Daley? Yep. Which one? What’s his first name? John? Close enough. Uhhh.. what’s the.. his uhh.. name? Jane Byrne? Jane Byrne. Umm.. Yep. Harold Washington?
That’s who- that’s who I’m- Harold Washington. We’re going to talk to the aldermen. We’re going up to the Council. Man Of The People. That’s right! Ken says, How come so many parking tickets? Can I please get out of some of the old ones that I paid? Can I get my money back, instead of a percentage of it? Please? No. He said please. No. Amelia wants to know, What is he doing about rats in ze alley? In ‘ze’ alley?
That’s how she put it. On ze alleys. Rats in ze alleys. Jennifer says, Could you please do something about the.. CTA Blue Line.. transportation.. problem? Thank you. Okay, that’s the one out to the airport. That’s correct? Mhm. I think. Yeah, I don’t know any of these. I’m on the South Side. Roberto says, Get a stop sign at my intersection because I almost got hit by a car, the other day, crossing the street. I don’t know where that intersection is. 55th Street and Merrimac. Let’s just put them everywhere. Let’s just mention it. Udira says, When is he gonna legalize the marijuana? No. She laughed too. I figured she would.
Yeah. The next speaker will be Mr. Pat Tomasulo. Good morning, fellow citizens of Chicago, Alderpeople! My name is Pat Tomasulo. You of course know me from Man Of The People. Saturday nights at 10 o’clock on WGN. With an encore presentation at 11:00. The old people over there know. Am I right? That’s my key demo! So, let’s uhh- let’s address the elephant in the room. Something I know this chamber is abuzz over.. this morning. So, let me make this statement here and now. I am not runnng for mayor. I know what you’re saying, “Pat, you’ve got a pulse, you’ve got vague name recognition, you know a couple of guys in a union, you should run! But, I’m not gonna do it. Finally, I just wanna thank you for the chance to be here. Uh, thank you to the Mayor for allowing me the chance to speak. Even though my statue still remains in storage. I apprec-
Thank you Mr. Tomasulo. Changin’ the world. Yeah?
Yes. We did it.

2 comments

  1. Pat, Mayor Rahm really looked like he liked your speech. He seemed very attentive to every word! You should be there every session!!! LOL

  2. This comes off as really smug and insulting TO the people of Chicago. You made them all out to be dumb and you made no effect or change in your appearnce to the city council. You sir are a bloviating asshole.

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