Turkmenistan’s Leader Wants Everyone to Know He’s Alive | The Daily Show


Let’s turn now to one
of my favorite countries to talk about. You guessed it, Turkmenistan. That’s right. All my Turkmens
in the audience say, “Hey!” -Love you guys.
-AUDIENCE: Hey! Oh, wow.
You’re not Turkmenistani. Cultural appropriation. Now, you may not know this,
but for the last 12 years, Turkmenistan has been ruled
by this man– -Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov.
-(laughter) He is a dictator with
a poor record on human rights, and for the last few weeks,
there have been rumors that he is actually dead. But before you celebrate
this ruthless dictator’s demise, you might want to think again. Whispers about the health of Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov began swirling in July after he hadn’t been seen
in public for weeks, but now the country’s
state broadcaster has aired a 25-minute report
showing him carrying out multiple tasks. They range from bowling and
horse riding to composing music and driving a rally car. (engine revving) Okay, this is… so amazing. Instead of the president
coming out and just saying, “I’m not dead,” he decided to cast himself
in The Amazing Race? Is that what this is? Like… like what is he doing? (applause) Because you realize, none of this proves
that he’s alive, right? A video of someone
in a music studio doesn’t mean that they’re currently alive. I can show you a video
of Tupac in a music studio, and he’s not alive. Or is he? (laughter) (cheers and applause) Now, there are a couple
of things you have to know about President
Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov. One– his natural enemy
is the name tag. -(laughter)
-And secondly… Secondly, he’s basically
turned his whole country into a cult of personality. Everything he does as leader is about showing off how perfect
he is, how everyone loves him, how everything he does
is tremendous. And I’m sure
Americans can’t relate to this, but that’s how it works
over there. You know,
those Third World countries. And that’s what makes
the state TV footage so amazing. For example, he could have
just showed himself bowling. No, no, no,
that’s-that’s not enough. Bowling is not enough, right? Just watch how state TV
edited the bowling footage to make him look super cool. (male newscaster speaking
in foreign language) (laughter) (laughter) Wow! Wow! (applause) Amazing! Amazing! Such amazing bowling
by such a living person. Yay! That’s some of the worst editing
ever. The ball is clearly heading
towards the gutter, and then all of a sudden,
it cuts to a strike? Doesn’t even look
like the same lane. And I know what
you’re saying right now. You’re like,
“Oh, Trevor, you’re just jealous ’cause he’s more athletic
than you.” No. Okay, I’m super athletic.
Watch this. You guys… you guys ready?
I’ll show you my athleticism. Do this thing. Let’s do this. -(grunts)
-(people whooping) (laughter) (cheers and applause) See that? Swish, swish.
I’m alive, bish! (laughter) And the perfect bowling
wasn’t even close to the craziest part
of the footage state TV put out, because at one point
in the video, he gets into a car,
drives across the desert and then does this. (upbeat music playing) (male newscaster speaking
in foreign language) (engine revving) Okay, Turkmenistan,
the good news is that your president
might be alive. The bad news is that your country is being
swallowed by hell. (laughter) What is that? So those are the clips Turkmenistan state TV
has released to prove that their leader
is still alive. And you know what?
We shouldn’t be surprised by how crazy these clips are, because this guy
is actually known for putting out
the best propaganda videos we’ve ever seen. My favorite personally
is this one, released a few months ago, of him and his grandson
rocking out. (singing in foreign language) (rapping) Huh? Huh? (cheers and applause) That’s the new
“Old Town Road,” baby. This guy does it all. He sings, he plays guitar, he has weird sexual tension
with his grandson, everything. So, that’s the latest news
from Turkmenistan. We don’t know if the president
is really dead or alive. What we do know is, he’s definitely killing it
on the charts.

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